The Pseudoscience Trap: Why Our Need for Validation Fuels an Industry of False Promises

“बुल्ला की जाना मैं कौन

ना मैं मोमन विच मसीतां
ना मैं विच कुफर दीयां रीतां
ना मैं पाकां विच पलीतां

ना मैं अन्दर बैठ कीताबा
ना मैं रहंदा फांग शराबां
ना मैं रहंदा मस्त खराबां

बुल्ला की जाना मैं कौन…”

(Not a believer inside the mosque, am I
Nor a pagan disciple of false rites
Not the pure amongst the impure
Neither Moses, nor the Pharoh

Bulleh! to me, I am not known

Not in the holy Vedas, am I
Nor in opium, neither in wine
Not in the drunkard’s craze
Neither awake nor in a sleeping daze

Bulleh! to me, I am not known…)

~ बुल्ले शाह (Bulleh Shah)

In a world where we constantly need to prove ourselves — our intelligence, competence, and success, we often lose touch with who we indeed are. Much like Bulleh Shah’s eternal question of identity, we, too, are caught in a cycle of seeking validation from outside forces, unsure of where to find ourselves. This subtle yet powerful pressure drives many of us to chase superficial measures of success. We continuously compare ourselves to unseen standards, whether they are compliments from others, a promotion at work, or a popular life tip.

The self-help business has grown to take advantage of our fears as we struggle to live up to these external demands. It offers happiness solutions, shortcuts to success, and instant remedies. However, can these solutions help us, or do they only make us feel good about ourselves at the expense of the fundamental problems?

Many of us are weighed down by an invisible burden — the incessant question in our minds, “Am I good enough?” This voice is constant even though it isn’t always loud. It makes us question our worth when we see someone else achieve something we haven’t or when we compare our lives to the highlight reels of others.

“इक याद बड़ी बीमार थी कल,

कल सारी रात उसके माथे पर,

बर्फ़ से ठंडे चाँद की पट्‌टी रख रख कर…”

(A memory was gravely ill last night,

All night long, I placed cold patches of the moon on its forehead…)

~ गुलज़ार (Gulzar)

Like in Gulzar’s lines, where memories weigh heavy and require soothing, our self-doubt often feels larger than life. We search for ways to quiet that inner voice through praise, promotions, or life hacks and hope to ease the burden it places on us.

The self-help industry thrives on this self-doubt. It offers us promises that seem too good to be true often, they are. We buy into these ideas not because we believe them wholeheartedly but because we want to believe there’s an easier way to feel whole and ‘enough.’

Imagine scrolling through your feed and coming across a post promising “5 Simple Ways to Unlock Your True Potential.” It catches your attention, not because you necessarily believe it, but because, on some level, you wish it were true. It feels good to think there’s a secret formula to solve your problems with minimal effort.

“शाख़ों से टूट जाएँ वो पत्ते नहीं हैं हम

आँधी से कोई कह दे कि औक़ात में रहे…”

(We are not the leaves that will break from branches, Tell the storm to stay in its place……)

~ राहत इंदौरी (Rahat Indori)

Rahat Indori’s lines from this couplet remind us that we are not as fragile as we may feel when confronted with our insecurities. Quick fixes try to convince us that we need external solutions, but we are stronger than we think. Like a tree standing firm in a storm, we can withstand life’s pressures if we look inward for strength rather than relying on superficial solutions.

Friedrich Nietzsche warned us of the danger of easy answers: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” In other words, recognizing the root causes of our challenges is more important than simply finding strategies to avoid them. Many self-help books, however, focus on the ‘how’ rather than the ‘why.’

In my teens and early twenties, I read self-help books in pursuit of the promised answers. At first, it seemed as if they held the key to uncovering some hidden wisdom. But as I read more, I realized how repetitious the advice was. These ‘experts’ seemed to be packaging everyday experiences and selling them as revolutionary insights. Over time, I realized that much of their words could be learned simply by living, observing, and reflecting on my everyday life.

Real growth comes when we dare to look within ourselves, sit with our discomfort, and confront our insecurities. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living,” and he couldn’t have been more right. Instead of seeking validation from external sources, we must explore our motivations, fears, and the deeper ‘whys’ behind our actions. Why do we crave success? Is it for personal satisfaction, or is it to be seen as valuable in the eyes of others?

“अपनी मर्ज़ी से कहाँ अपने सफ़र के हम हैं,

रुख़ हवाओं का जिधर का है उधर के हम हैं।”

(We are not fully in control of our journey,

We simply follow the direction in which the winds blow.)

~ निदा फ़ाज़ली (Nida Fazli)

This couplet from Nida Fazli beautifully reflects the essence of introspection. Much of life’s journey is shaped by forces beyond our control, whether societal expectations or personal circumstances. Proper growth lies in understanding this and finding our inner stability in a world that often pushes us in different directions.

The ability to perceive the outside world is equally important. We must critically evaluate our environment and become aware of the subtle ways in which it impacts us. Do we follow trends because they are popular or appeal to us? Through observation, we can get below the surface of outside validation and identify what is really important.

For instance, the next time you find yourself drawn to a self-help book or motivational speaker, take a moment to ask yourself, “What am I trying to gain from this? Is my goal to understand myself better, or am I just looking for a quick way to eliminate my discomfort?” This simple observation might help you navigate the world more consciously, choosing what truly brings worth to your life over chasing after empty promises.

The self-help industry’s pseudoscience is most notable for infiltrating our daily lives. Consider the rise of “manifestation” practices, where people are told they can attract wealth and happiness simply by thinking positive thoughts. Or the wellness fads that promise eternal youth with a blend of unproven supplements and vague philosophies.

We see it in workplaces, too. How often have you been in a meeting when someone advises implementing a corporate trend, such as a “vision board,” to boost productivity without providing accurate statistics to support it? These examples may appear innocuous but perpetuate a culture that values surface-level fixes above critical thought and detailed answers.

Even in our personal lives, we sometimes seek shortcuts. We buy books on “hacking” our brains for happiness, hoping they’ll provide a roadmap to a more fulfilling life, without considering that fulfillment is often found in the small, slow, and sometimes tricky moments of growth and understanding.

“घाव ही वो जगह है जहाँ से रौशनी अंदर आती है…”

(The wound is the place where the Light enters you.)

~ रूमी (Rumi)

Ultimately, our wounds, discomforts, and hardships provide growing opportunities. I don’t have all the answers either. I’ve made my fair share of blunders, including falling for the draw of self-help books and seminars when I was younger. They promised a lot but delivered little. Over time, I realized that the real work was far from glamorous in the quiet moments of introspection and self-awareness, in the everyday experiences that teach us more than any seminar ever could.

The journey to understanding yourself — flaws, doubts, and all is far more valuable than anything that can be sold to you. As Gulzar wisely says:

“अच्छी किताबें और अच्छे लोग

तुरंत समझ में नहीं आते…

उन्हें पढ़ना पड़ता है…”

(Good books and good people

Aren’t understood immediately…

You have to read them carefully.)

~ गुलज़ार (Gulzar)

Let’s remember that we don’t need to prove ourselves to anyone. The search for validation can be exhausting, but the natural path to growth is quieter, more personal, and infinitely more rewarding.

Reference(s) -

“BULLA KI JANA” Lyrics by Rabbi Shergill — https://www.flashlyrics.com/lyrics/rabbi-shergill/bulla-ki-jana-70