Grief — An Aftermath of Death
“Hmmm… What happens if I don’t wake up the next day? Will that fact have an impact on the lives of those around me? Will they be able to resume their normal lives? How long would they remember me before returning to their normal routine?” Every night before I go to bed, I ask myself these questions. Even you, ‘the reader,’ may have had similar feelings at one time or another!
Grief is a natural and unavoidable reaction to loss, whether it is personal, professional, or spiritual. Nonetheless, we are hesitant to discuss it. We are so vulnerable to the thought of loss in life that we try to avoid thinking about it. The truth is that we are all on our way to death from the time we are born. As Saif Ali Khan rightly said in the movie ‘Laal Kaptaan’, “आदमी के पैदा होते ही काल अपने भैंसे पर बैठकर चल पड़ता है उसे वापिस ले जाने… आदमी की जिंदगी उतनी जितना समय उस भैंसे को लगा उस तक पहुँचने में !”
Death is quite fascinating! It makes you wonder about the aftermath of your absence in the world. The mere thought of our demise causes us to experience ‘FOMO.’ If we envision our loved one not being there with us, the emotion of sorrow is much worse. If we rationalise the concept of mortality for a second, we will realise that we will no longer be present to experience any feeling! Others will always have to deal with the heartache, sadness, and all of the unfinished jobs we’ve left on this Earth.
The irony is that we’ve all been bombarded with motivational quotations, biblical quotes, and movies reminding us that we’re mortals with a certain amount of time on this world. We must grab the opportunity, accept failures, and attain our objectives; we must give up worldly possessions because nothing truly matters in the end… and so on. We are never taught, on the other hand, how to cope with the sense of losing something or someone! No one ever informs us how a loved one’s death can affect our mental health, although grieving is a natural reaction to our loss. All of us still have a lot to learn about the complexities of human emotions and the different degrees to which we might experience them!
I came upon a film based on a similar concept when thinking about the immense amount of grief caused by human mortality. Pind Daan is a play that has been adapted into a film. Seema Pahwa directed the film, which was produced by Manish Mundra.
The film takes a loving and sometimes comical approach to the notion of a father’s death and his family’s ordeal over the next two weeks. ‘Tehrvi’ is a Hindu ceremony that must be performed after the death of a family member. It is thought that the deceased’s soul is still unsatisfied. Only when all of the procedures are followed does it find peace!
Ramprasad (Naseeruddin Shah) has two daughters and four boys. Each of them has a different family and lives in a different city. Everyone’s life is full of questions, wants, and disappointments! They blame one another for their failures, just like any other middle-class Indian family with a conventional value system.
Gajraj, the eldest son, is regarded as the most organised and responsible member of the family. He gathers the entire family, and their lives begin to get more exciting with each passing day. The middle children are frequently perplexed and frustrated about their place and significance in the family. They aren’t held in the same regard as the eldest child, and they aren’t adored unconditionally like the youngest one!
Everyone is acting as if there is a wedding ceremony going place, according to the mother, who has just lost her spouse! Everyone is arguing over small concerns, gossiping about others, and no one is concerned about their father’s death or how their mother will cope with such a terrible loss! Such a realistic portrayal of this family makes you think about people in general! We’ve all experienced death in our immediate or extended families. Do we recall how we acted when we visited such a location and then returned home?
It’s almost contradictory that we can’t comprehend the enormity of death and its consequences for the bereaved family! On the one hand, we have a life insight. When we are in that setting of death, we want to cherish life and the people around us! For a little while, we consider taking care of our health. The feeling of epiphany is so fleeting that we forget about it soon we return to our daily routine!
While talking to her brother, Amma utters some of the most hauntingly beautiful words, “फोटो के सामने फूल चढ़ा देने से और दिया जला देने से मातम पूरा हो जाता है क्या?! हम ये नहीं कहते के 13 दिन बस रोते रहो! लेकिन ये तो सोचे के कहां आए है, किसे खोया है?!”
“हमने ही उनको शुक्रिया कहना नहीं सिखाया! दरअसल, हम सिर्फ अपने ही बारे में सोचते है! जो हमारे सबसे करीब है उन्हें हम थेन्क यू या सॉरी कहना भूल जाते हैं! हमें लगता है, वो जो कुछ भी हमारे लिए कर रहे है वो उनका फर्ज़ है!”
Someone pays a visit to the family one day. He reminds them to pay back the loan that Ramprasad took out! The members are now concerned about their mother’s increased responsibilities and the financial difficulties that their father has caused them! They had a chance to assume responsibility for the first time in their life, and all they could think of was selling the shop and renting out some of their father’s mansion! They all start departing when Amma instructs them to leave before they miss their respective scheduled train. That’s all there is to it! Without regard for the positive or negative aspects of life, or the so-called “happy ending”! Because life is like a river that never stops flowing. With a skewed viewpoint, there can never be a happy conclusion! That’s the beauty of it…
Chakbast Brij Narayan composed a lovely verse about life and death—
“zindagī kyā hai anāsir meñ zuhūr-e-tartīb
maut kyā hai inhīñ ajzā kā pareshāñ honā”
P.S. — You can enjoy this beautiful film on Netflix. Also, let me know your thoughts on death, grief, and gratefulness!
